CHAPTER 5 part 1

“Don’t cry, you’ll be fine” my head was on Julie’s lap as she stroked my hair, trying to comfort me.

After I had come home from that whole ordeal I went straight to bed and cried my eyes out. Julie had found me crying when she came back home, in between sobs I had told her what had happened earlier that day.I didn’t know how to go back there tomorrow and face the twins. All the memories had come back to haunt me especially the painful ones.

Flashback of Jacqueline:

“I really don’t know how to explain it, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it”

I chased after Larry as he climbed down the stairs of Aunty Maggie’s house. My heart was pounding. I knew I had messed up, I knew I had hurt him.Larry turned back, one of his brow raised at me. I used that opportunity to say something.

 “Can’t we talk about this,Larry?”

“Talk about what? when you can’t explain it?! I see what you write about in your diary, I see all of it” he spat.

All the time I had been with Larry he rarely let his  temper get out of hand but today I could see his anger, I could almost even feel it, like it was in the house with us. i was so scared

“I didn’t mean any of it, I was –confused”

“Confused? Puhlease.. I can’t believe I LOVED you,you are not  good person”

I started crying at this point, the weight of what I had done had finally dawned on me. I should have known better, Larry loved me and this was how I paid him back by pinning for his twin brother.

“Why you hurt me like this, Jackie? He’s my TWIN!”

His anger was also directed at his brother, he must have read a lot in my diary ( I had tried kissing Laurent although he had brushed it away and we had never talked about it.oh God I had written about that too in my diary! ). I didn’t think about what it would do to his relationship with his twin. I was truly a bad person

 “Laurent had nothing to do with this, he didn’t even encourage it, it was all me”

The look of disgust he gave me, made me wish that I could just disappear or better yet die. I closed my eyes and I could see his face like it was burned into my memory. I heard the door open, Laurent walked in. I guess Larry must have texted Laurent to come. He looked from Larry to me and my teary face, and back to his brother

“Larry what happen?”

I didn’t want Laurent to be involved in this, even though he was already involved seeing as this fight was because of him ——sort of.

“Larry? What happen??” he was getting really worried as none of us answered him

“You come with a car?” Larry said his voice was sounding very off. I could tell that he was holding in his anger.

“Yea, so?”

 Laurent still didn’t know what was going on

“Get me out of here and away from her” Larry’s voice was cold as ice. The way he said it cut me deep.

”Larry please let’s just talk about this, please!!”

 I looked at Laurent pleadingly, hoping he could do something, anything. Larry wouldn’t listen to me maybe he’d listen to his twin. Laurent started to say something and then snapped his mouth closed. He looked at his twin questioningly; he wanted to know what was going on before he did anything or said anything.

“Let’s go Laurent, I tell you everything in the car” Larry went outside, Laurent followed behind him. I followed behind Laurent trying to get to Larry before he got into the car.

“Larry please, I’m sorry please say something?, we can’t end like this, I can’t—-I can’t be without you, please Larry, please I need you in my life —-you are the only stable thing in my life, please!!”

 I knew I was rambling and being stupid, but I had to try. My throat was raw from all the ugly crying I was doing. He turned to me, and for a second I thought he wanted to hug me.

“I want nothing to do with you; you wanna make me and my twin fight just like you did your parents”

The look on his face as he said this was unexplainable; his eyes were glinting with triumph. He knew this would hurt me so bad. I had told him about how I felt I was the one making my parents fight and he knew saying this would kill me inside more than anything else. I couldn’t believe that Larry of all people would use this against me.

"Larry,how could you" was all i could say.I just stood there silently, the tears pouring out of my eyes unceasingly

“You are dead to me, Jacqueline; I never wanna see you ever again” his voice were like razors, cutting me afresh with every word he said. 

“Larry! That’s enough, get into the car” Laurent ordered him,Larry obeyed.

“Jacqueline I think you should just stay away———- for a while, or for good” I turned to look at Laurent one last time; I knew he wanted to say more to me, to comfort me but he didn’t— my heart breaking even more.At that point I hated the both of them so much it hurt. I turned away and walked back into my house. I left for New York the next week I didn’t care if my parents had not resolved their issues. I just couldn’t stay here anymore…

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